Honey Vanilla Chamomille Tea

I'm sitting in the kitchen by myself at almost 11pm.  I just got everyone to bed and should be there myself, but I am enjoying a moment to breathe....I would say think, but I am almost too tired to think. I am drinking my honey vanilla chamomille tea with extra honey from the Amish neighbors and organic french vanilla half and half paired with my Ezekiel bread toast with raw butter and organic blueberry jelly. 

 Yea, I get particular about those little things.  This little routine of mine lets me feel like I have a tiny bit of control in my life and is a comforting oasis in the midst of the chaos that resides in a house with 3 small children.  It reminds me why it is important to Warrior to have a bedtime routine and why she sometimes has to do things a certain way in a certain order.  We just need one thing that is familiar and constant that helps soothe our raging hearts and roaring minds. 

Really this is just a poor earthly substitute for what we really need to fill the void and still our souls and give our bones the strength to bear us up every day because my bones, my soul, my entire being can get weary and overwhelmed from not only bearing myself, but those 3 small children who I have been charged with nurturing and molding into healthy adults who can thrive in this world while being in it, but not being of it.  At the end of the day my muscles ache from bearing my children in my arms- for safety, for sustenance, for soothing tradgedies and tantrums.  My heart aches from bearing the hopes and dreams and fears and the mocking limitations of my abilities that never seem to come close to my desperate desires.  Then, what I really need is not just my perfect cup of tea, but my perfect Savior to just wrap me up in His arms and be my all.  I just need His love, to acknowledge it and drink it in while savoring the sweet aroma of knowing that to Him I am ENOUGH and for me He is.......ENOUGH.